There's an anecdote I can't stop thinking about:
Your sister sells cookies. I also sell cookies. We're at the same table at a market, side by side. My cookies are, let's say, objectively better. You've tried both and you know it.
You're still going to buy your sister's.
And you won't feel torn about it, either. It won't even feel like a decision… it just feels like the obvious thing to do.
if you run a business, that story should be a little bit uncomfortable, because it means that being better isn't good enough to be chosen. BUT it also means something hopeful: you don't have to out-bake anyone. You just have to become a sister.
WHAT'S ACTUALLY GOING ON WITH THE COOKIES???
You're not buying cookies from your sister - you're buying certainty.
When you buy from a stranger, there's a small pile of questions in the back of your mind. Will it be what they promised? Will they respond if something goes wrong? Are they being straight with me? Do they actually care how this turns out?
With a stranger, you can't really answer any of those… Essentially, you’re taking a risk.
With your sister, you already know every answer. The risk is gone. A better cookie only reduces one kind of risk (that it won't taste good). Trust reduces all the others at once.
So the question for a business owner isn't "how do i make my cookies better?" it's "what does my sister have that i can build?"
001 / She’s Familiar
You've seen her a thousand times. You know her face, her voice, and the way she talks. Nothing about her is new, and that makes her feel safe.
Online, familiarity comes from repetition. People trust what they've seen many times, in the same places, saying consistent things. But most of us do the opposite: we show up in bursts, switch platforms, change our tone, and rebrand every few months. each time, we reset the clock.
HOW TO BE FAMILIAR: Pick one or two places and show up there on a steady schedule you can actually keep. boring and regular beats impressive and occasional.
002 / She has a Track Record
You've watched her do what she said she'd do. She said she'd bring the cookies on Friday, and she did. She's done that for years. You didn't have to check.
As a business owner, you build this one promise at a time. Replying when you said you would. Delivering on the date you gave. Doing the small things you mentioned in passing. none of it is glamorous, but a track record is just a long list of small promises kept.
The part most people miss is making it visible. Share what happened after the work: specific results, what a client said later, what you did when something went sideways. people can't trust a track record they can't see.
HOW TO HAVE A TRACK RECORD: This week, keep every small commitment you make, down to "i'll send that over tomorrow." then share one real result or story that shows it.
003 / She’s on Your Side
You know she wants good things for you, not just your money. If the cookies weren't right for your event, she'd tell you. she'd never sell you something you didn't need.
This is the heart of it.
Strangers assume that a seller's interests and theirs are opposed. The fastest way to break that assumption is to show you'll act against your own short-term interest when it's the right call for them.
That looks like telling someone “I’m not the right fit for this, but here's who is." It looks like giving honest advice that talks someone out of buying the bigger package. It looks like explaining your reasoning instead of just stating a price. each time you do it, you lose a sale and gain something worth far more: someone who knows you'll tell them the truth.
HOW TO BE ON THEIR SIDE: The next time someone isn't a good fit for your service, say so, and point them to someone who is. Watch what happens to how they talk about you.
*Story time!* When I managed a beauty supply store, a customer walked in looking for a specific product we didn’t carry. I referred her to the mall next door, where she not only bought the product she was looking for, but also brought me back some chocolates to thank me for the suggestion!
004 / She’ll Make it Right
If something goes wrong, you know she'll fix it. If the cookies were stale, you'd tell her, and she'd apologize and bring fresh ones. There's no awkwardness, no fine print, no fight.
This is what lowers the real risk of buying.
Most people aren't afraid of paying; they're afraid of being stuck with a problem and no one to help. You can take that fear away in advance by being clear about what happens if something goes wrong: how someone can reach you, how you handle mistakes, what "making it right" looks like… And when you do make a mistake (which, you will), how you handle it in public becomes some of your best proof.
A calm, honest "i got this wrong, here's what i'm doing about it" builds more trust than a perfect record ever could.
HOW TO MAKE IT RIGHT: Write down, in plain language, what happens if a client is unhappy. Put it where people can see it before they buy.
005 / She’s a Real Person With a Story
You know where she comes from. You know why she started baking, what she's like when she's stressed, and what she cares about. She isn't a brand to you. She's a person.
In business, people trust people they feel they know. That means sharing the real reasons behind what you do, your actual opinions, and the ordinary details of how you work. This is where voice notes, videos, and unpolished moments help, because they're harder to fake than a perfectly written caption.
One caution: this only works if it's real. performing openness, with the staged "vulnerable" post and the carefully planned behind-the-scenes, makes people trust you less, not more. share what's true, and skip what isn't.
HOW TO START WITH A STORY: Share one honest thing this week about why you do your work or how you really think about it, without wrapping it in a lesson.
What if I’m Not Anyone’s Sister Yet?
Everyone starts as a stranger, but there is a shortcut: borrow trust from someone who already has it.
If your sister tells you, "you have to try this other person's cookies," you will. She's lending you her trust, and you extend it to the stranger because of her. That's what a referral is. it's one person's trust transferred to another.
One of the best things you can do is be so reliable to the people you already serve that they become happy to introduce you. Every good experience makes you easier to recommend. And, like the best way to get linked is to link, you can lend your own trust to others too, which makes you someone worth trusting in return.
TWO THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE YOU START:
You can't fake it. A sister isn't a tactic. She's what happens when someone has been familiar, reliable, honest, accountable, and real for long enough. There's no template that shortcuts that. What you can do is start behaving that way now and keep going.
You can't be everyone's sister. The people who trust her most are a small group, and that's why it works. choose the people you want to be that person for. be great for them. The rest will notice, But you'll build trust faster by going deep than by going wide.
You don't have to bake better cookies than everyone.
You have to be the person people reach for without comparing.
That's what a sister has, and none of it is out of your reach. It takes time and it's built out of small, ordinary things, but those things are all in your control.
So what would it take for someone to feel about you the way they feel about their sister's cookies?